Greetings! This question was emailed to feenx files. See the question and my reply below, and please be encouraged to respond to this reader.
From B.D.:
Just wanted to through this question out there into the vast abyss of people with prior knowledge and or experience. I am recently engaged with Wedding plans slow to start. In the back of my mind I know I do not want to get married in a place of worship because I have recently falled away from my original faith (basic Christianity). My Fiance used to be a Catholic but he too has fallen away from any organized religion. MY QUESTION IS..... Do we respect the religions our parents bestowed upon us (or pressed on us) by incorporating their religious ideas or should we just make it our time. I am voting for the latter of the two but am also not quite sure how to discuss the topic with our parents. Any suggestions?
feenx reply:
Dear B.D.,
That surely is quite an important decision to make. First I would say that it is a decision both you and your fiance should make together. Second I feel you both must ask yourselves, individually and as a soon to be family unit, what it is you most want to accomplish with your wedding ceremony.
Certainly there is the obvious motivation, a sacred event in which your friends and family can share in your pledge of life long love and support of each other. That being said, is not your wedding ceremony the first event, public at that, signifying the foundation you two have and continue to build in the lives you will now be sharing together?
It doesn't sound like either of you have qualms with having a non religious ceremony. So then it comes down to which is the greater need, pleasing family members at the cost of your personal wishes, or to mark this one time occasion and present forth to each other and all present a statement of your true relationship, perhaps at the cost of family preference. It may be possible to accomplish both of these items. Many weddings are essentially a family affair, why should only you or they compromise? Is it possible for you both to compromise?
Another item to keep in mind is that should you choose to compromise and appease your family with a religious ceremony, are their separate beliefs going to conflict? Is it possible that compromising could add yet another layer to the problem, thereby pitting the parents against each other in their own religious wishes leaving you stuck in the middle over a matter that you didn't want in the first place?
You must decide for yourselves where the line is drawn. This must be chosen prior to speaking with your families, and can only be decided upon once you have decided, for yourselves, what you want to accomplish with your ceremony.
Once this decision is made by the two of you, you can present a united family unit and together lovingly explain to both your families what those boundaries are. After you've done that the responsibility falls on you to maintain those boundaries. What your families choose to do with that information and your conviction is up to them, and not something in your control. You must accept this.
Keep reminding yourself that you are on a wonderful path full of love and exciting new experiences. Though there are plenty of places to get sidetracked, your focus can always remain on those two simple words, "I do," and what that means for you and your future. All the rest is simply details.
I hope these words have proved helpful.
Lovingly, feenx
~ May your feet continue to step forward on your path ~
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Contact Me
As this blog begins there will many subjects that will come under discussion. I encourage any and all to email me with topic ideas, comments and statements they wish to be posted and of course questions or situations they seek feedback on.
email: feenx.files@gmail.com
email: feenx.files@gmail.com
feenx files: No subject is taboo...
This is the initial blog for what is to be called Feenx Files.
Greetings! I am feenx, a light worker (or you may use the term Indigo child). In my journey on the path of enlightenment more and more I find myself intrigued and eager to discuss topics that many consider taboo, are difficult to discuss but that yet bring us all closer together. There is nothing that we shouldn’t be able to discuss and share with each other.
My first thought and intention in starting this blog was three fold:
1. Create a place where there can be active and open discussion on spiritual and emotional matters. This can be anything from religious dogma, organized religion, self-spirituality, incarnations, The Grid, Over Souls, psychic and other abilities, Indigo and Crystal children/adults, trauma recovery (e.g. physical/sexual/mental abuse), mental disorders including/specifically Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D., formerly Multiple Personality Disorder, M.P.D.), family and romantic relationships, questions and advice.
2. To supply information for readers to do with as they wish. Many blogs on such topics have a tendency to present their information as fact. I present it as neither fact nor fiction, simply food for thought because ultimately YOU are the only one who can decide what is right for you and you alone.
3. Perhaps most important is the goal to invoke a flush of the senses. We all have a degree of curiosity, child like wonder, perhaps even a spiritual sense of the universe in which we live. Some are more tapped into this than others are, but every single human has questions, hopes and dreams about the vastness we are all connected to and a part of.
I feel that the combination of these three elements provides a fantastic aid to healing, enlightenment and growth. Openly discussing the topics described above helps us put our experiences into perspective while also giving those experiences a useful opportunity to help others. This by far is my utmost goal.
How though can this information help to heal? “Heal” is such a broad term. More specifically I feel the information we can present on this blog can inform, give comfort and hope, perhaps help you feel less alone and ultimately can help all of us on our journey to heal not only emotionally, but mentally and spiritually as well. A by product of this information can also enable healing in a religious manner. This by no means constitutes healing “spiritually,” as religion and spirituality are two separate things.
I firmly believe that spirituality is something different and unique for each individual, and not something a mere writer should inhibit or presume to be an authority on in any fashion.
In my opinion for anyone who comes from a highly religious (or other severe influential background), to enable healing one must look at themselves objectively, with honesty, rather than through the glasses religion forces you to wear. Doing so is essentially looking in the mirror while wearing a mask. There is only so much that can be discerned about oneself when there are limitations, definitions and restrictions about what “self” is from the very beginning.
Dictionary.com defines self as “a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self.”
Just like with any repair project, you must be taken apart before you can be put back together. It may only be one element or part of you, or it may be the entire system, but with those religious glasses removed, even if just temporarily, you facilitate yourself to heal more effectively.
Furthermore, it is not my intention to promote or denounce any emotional or spiritual state, personal morals, belief system, or religion.
When I first started speaking of and writing on such topics my parents, who are very dedicated Jehovah’s Witnesses, stated that it is likely my perspective of Jehovah’s Witnesses and organized religion as a whole is skewed, based on my childhood experiences. This could very well be true. However, that does not mean that my perspective is incorrect.
Just as someone who survives a brutal car accident is weary of driving, so am I a survivor of a brutal childhood environment, weary of abuse, religion and our collective mental status. As a society, do we become so accustomed to everyday dangers that we have in effect desensitized ourselves, and therefore do not realize the potential harm in our lives? Are everyone’s experiences with family and religion the same? No. Does the lack of a bad experience mean one’s environment was only good, and those who see things differently are simply misled by an anomaly in environment? I ask you to simply consider the information presented and decide for yourself.
We all are influenced in our thought and emotions by something, whether it’s religion, the Bible, philosophy, literature, democracy, capitalism, etc. However, when we take such influences at their word as being the one true and “right” course of action, especially when it affects how we live our daily lives, DAILY lives, we are turning our back on making a conscious decision.
This holds true in therapy, healing and spirituality. Before one can truly heal or grow, a decision must be made to do so. For some it’s a conscious decision. For others it’s an unconscious one. In fact, they may not realize they’ve made the decision to start their healing or spiritual journey until they find themselves on the road to recovery and growth and refuse to stop.
Whichever ones circumstance is we have all done the same thing, we’ve chosen to strive for emotional and spiritual health, regardless the consequences. No matter the change within us that may occur, the fear of the unknown or the discoveries of things buried deep inside our minds and hearts, we have all chosen to change.
With that conviction equals responsibility. We are truly responsible, perhaps for the first time ever, for ourselves. No more can we with a blind eye accept “life” and “happiness” or “unhappiness” with the definitions imposed on us by so-called higher powers. We are on our own path, some long, some short, but all of them for the betterment of self.
Without this conviction, the goal of truth for each of us, the world is essentially one big sandbox to stick your head in. There are many things to occupy you, but you’ll never know who it really is you’re occupying.
Therefore, the intention of this blog is for you to come away with a desire to truly heal, to grow or to continue on the path you’ve already started. My hope is that you feel a sense of accomplishment and much self love. We all deserve to be happy. Let me say that again, as it will be a focal point throughout. YOU DESERVE to be truly HAPPY.
What that happiness actually means is up to you.
Greetings! I am feenx, a light worker (or you may use the term Indigo child). In my journey on the path of enlightenment more and more I find myself intrigued and eager to discuss topics that many consider taboo, are difficult to discuss but that yet bring us all closer together. There is nothing that we shouldn’t be able to discuss and share with each other.
My first thought and intention in starting this blog was three fold:
1. Create a place where there can be active and open discussion on spiritual and emotional matters. This can be anything from religious dogma, organized religion, self-spirituality, incarnations, The Grid, Over Souls, psychic and other abilities, Indigo and Crystal children/adults, trauma recovery (e.g. physical/sexual/mental abuse), mental disorders including/specifically Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D., formerly Multiple Personality Disorder, M.P.D.), family and romantic relationships, questions and advice.
2. To supply information for readers to do with as they wish. Many blogs on such topics have a tendency to present their information as fact. I present it as neither fact nor fiction, simply food for thought because ultimately YOU are the only one who can decide what is right for you and you alone.
3. Perhaps most important is the goal to invoke a flush of the senses. We all have a degree of curiosity, child like wonder, perhaps even a spiritual sense of the universe in which we live. Some are more tapped into this than others are, but every single human has questions, hopes and dreams about the vastness we are all connected to and a part of.
I feel that the combination of these three elements provides a fantastic aid to healing, enlightenment and growth. Openly discussing the topics described above helps us put our experiences into perspective while also giving those experiences a useful opportunity to help others. This by far is my utmost goal.
How though can this information help to heal? “Heal” is such a broad term. More specifically I feel the information we can present on this blog can inform, give comfort and hope, perhaps help you feel less alone and ultimately can help all of us on our journey to heal not only emotionally, but mentally and spiritually as well. A by product of this information can also enable healing in a religious manner. This by no means constitutes healing “spiritually,” as religion and spirituality are two separate things.
I firmly believe that spirituality is something different and unique for each individual, and not something a mere writer should inhibit or presume to be an authority on in any fashion.
In my opinion for anyone who comes from a highly religious (or other severe influential background), to enable healing one must look at themselves objectively, with honesty, rather than through the glasses religion forces you to wear. Doing so is essentially looking in the mirror while wearing a mask. There is only so much that can be discerned about oneself when there are limitations, definitions and restrictions about what “self” is from the very beginning.
Dictionary.com defines self as “a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self.”
Just like with any repair project, you must be taken apart before you can be put back together. It may only be one element or part of you, or it may be the entire system, but with those religious glasses removed, even if just temporarily, you facilitate yourself to heal more effectively.
Furthermore, it is not my intention to promote or denounce any emotional or spiritual state, personal morals, belief system, or religion.
When I first started speaking of and writing on such topics my parents, who are very dedicated Jehovah’s Witnesses, stated that it is likely my perspective of Jehovah’s Witnesses and organized religion as a whole is skewed, based on my childhood experiences. This could very well be true. However, that does not mean that my perspective is incorrect.
Just as someone who survives a brutal car accident is weary of driving, so am I a survivor of a brutal childhood environment, weary of abuse, religion and our collective mental status. As a society, do we become so accustomed to everyday dangers that we have in effect desensitized ourselves, and therefore do not realize the potential harm in our lives? Are everyone’s experiences with family and religion the same? No. Does the lack of a bad experience mean one’s environment was only good, and those who see things differently are simply misled by an anomaly in environment? I ask you to simply consider the information presented and decide for yourself.
We all are influenced in our thought and emotions by something, whether it’s religion, the Bible, philosophy, literature, democracy, capitalism, etc. However, when we take such influences at their word as being the one true and “right” course of action, especially when it affects how we live our daily lives, DAILY lives, we are turning our back on making a conscious decision.
This holds true in therapy, healing and spirituality. Before one can truly heal or grow, a decision must be made to do so. For some it’s a conscious decision. For others it’s an unconscious one. In fact, they may not realize they’ve made the decision to start their healing or spiritual journey until they find themselves on the road to recovery and growth and refuse to stop.
Whichever ones circumstance is we have all done the same thing, we’ve chosen to strive for emotional and spiritual health, regardless the consequences. No matter the change within us that may occur, the fear of the unknown or the discoveries of things buried deep inside our minds and hearts, we have all chosen to change.
With that conviction equals responsibility. We are truly responsible, perhaps for the first time ever, for ourselves. No more can we with a blind eye accept “life” and “happiness” or “unhappiness” with the definitions imposed on us by so-called higher powers. We are on our own path, some long, some short, but all of them for the betterment of self.
Without this conviction, the goal of truth for each of us, the world is essentially one big sandbox to stick your head in. There are many things to occupy you, but you’ll never know who it really is you’re occupying.
Therefore, the intention of this blog is for you to come away with a desire to truly heal, to grow or to continue on the path you’ve already started. My hope is that you feel a sense of accomplishment and much self love. We all deserve to be happy. Let me say that again, as it will be a focal point throughout. YOU DESERVE to be truly HAPPY.
What that happiness actually means is up to you.
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